ok its time for my:HATE HATE HTE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

review WARNING MAY CONTAIN STRONG LANGUAGE FROM THIS POINT ON now for every f*cking brilliant game like bio sho

ck or fallout 9 out of 10 times theres bound to be A PILE OF SHIT game

to go with it and this PILE OF SHIT happens to be by SEG

A the people who gave us this..

wow big suprise

now the game i am talking about happens to be sega all stars racing for ds

ok lets tear in

once you pop in the cartridge your instantly greeted with music that a child with a ds couldve shat out in one second. then once you press start you are asked to make a file wich is called a licence. once youve made youre severly BORING licence you then get treated to a mandatory tutorial with sonic............... fun

OK i know probably EVERYONE who has EVER reviewed this has probably commented on this but i want to complain and and complain i will.

WHY THE BLOODY HELL DOES SONIC THE HEDGEHOG NEED A CAR if you look up a video of gmeplay youll probably realise he can RUN faster than the bloody thing and with its design that looks like the frame was blown with a haur dryer while it was still molten could impale some on seriously did someone cut his legs off so he needed to drive this monstrosity which looks likes sonics head if you turned it into a car. *sigh* okay back to the review. so after sonic introduces you to the *cough*identical-to mario-kart*cough* controls your then immediatly introduced to the games character line up which keeps to segas love affair with all the characters that shouldve stopped existing a while ago. seriously take a look

wow sega wow

also you see that zombie guy to the far right yeah he was i some random game called house of the dead EX where instead of murdering zombies you played mini games. they put as a racer to represent house of the dead. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY THEY COULDVE JUST PUT AGENT G IN A CART I WANT TO SEE AGENT G IN A CART.

bastards

and of course the races are very balanced take a look at this formula i made

Choose RYU as racer=win

choose anyone else= FAIL

and of course speaking of unbalnced thing the only powerups that have any thing to do with sega: the stars

heh sorry

are completely unbalanced for example Ryu gets an infinite turbo boost forklift and samba gets maracas which make everyone dance and has no noticeable effect.

and last of all the tracks the tracks aren't the fun gimmicky tracks of Mario Kart they're just decorative strips of land. yes they do put on obstacles in the form of robots with 2 frames of animation but they are so far off the track that they might as well have put none in at all

and the super monkey ball tracks have turns so sharp and sudden you could cut through the proverbial apathy.

all in all DON'T PLAY THIS GAME IF YOU DO YOUR BRAIN WILL DIE.

that is all.